dr david bull

The EuroFarce Song Contest

In Opinion Pieces on June 2, 2012 at 12:05 am

Load of old cobblers!

Let’s face it. Farce is British. It’s fantastically ridiculous. Curtain up, rich man in braces struts around stage , explains his complicated life, lovers and friends. Throw in a couple of vicars, two or three wardrobes, someone in underwear, calls off stage, people entering and exiting via various doors, awful timing and recipe for disaster. Hilarious, ridiculous and thoroughly entertaining!

Eurovision has become a farce. And not a good one! No vicar in sight and certainly no comedy.  It’s taken me a week to calm down and for my blood pressure to resume normal levels.

Last Saturday was the 2012 showcase. Watched by an audience of 125 million, making it the biggest non-sporting event in the World.

It’s a fantastic parody of itself. The premise is that it’s a singing competition and the songs are judged on merit. In reality it’s a political football where votes are cast according to political lines rather than on talent.

Let’s face it, the British entry this year was pretty shocking. We (or the BBC) exhumed Englebert Humperdinck who most people thought was dead (and at 897 he’s doing well to still be breathing), gave him a rubbish song and pushed him onto the stage. The theory was that he was popular in Europe.

3 problems with that theory.
1 He was popular in 1754
2. Many of the countries in the competition can’t spell Europe let alone reside in it (this year was hosted in Baku, Azerbaijan (where?) )and
I watched it with a Eurovision virgin. I tried to explain how the competition and the voting worked. But as the voting started, he thought that either I had an uncanny paranormal skill of knowing how each country would vote or some inside information? For every country jury, I guessed the results and voiced them out loud before they were announced. Macedonia….. How do you vote? And 12 points (top marks) go to Bosnia!
Was that because Bosnia was a great song! Eat my shorts it was! It was because Bosnia is Macedonia’s neighbour and they used to be the same country!
Predictable voting patterns, deeply political and incredibly sad.
On top of all this, Europe doesn’t like the UK. For two main reasons.
1 . We didn’t join the Euro and we are not about to see the destruction of our currency and
2. We are friends with America (who they despise)
So why do I care? I don’t really apart from I hate injustice. And this is unjust. And I also hate that as a founder member of the EBU (European Broadcasting Corporation) , we pay for the blinking thing!
I’m a showman which makes me a Eurovision freak, but even I am joining calls for us to boycott next years event. Once they realise there isn’t the money to fund it, the rules may change!
Perhaps we should be more vocal and less subtle…. Allons y Europe!

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